I've discovered something about myself lately. I don't generally want God to do great things in my life. Of course I don't actually consciously pray to God to make my life miserable. But subconsciously I don't 100 percent believe that my life is great enough for Him to work in. And consequently I have chosen to refuse blessings or refuse to acknowledge blessings in my life as a form of punishment to myself. Punishment for not being perfect, worthy, for not trying enough.
I don't know why I never realized this before. Maybe God chose this opportune time in my life to show me that He has great plans for me if I would only believe that I am worthy enough of what He has to give. Or maybe I just refused to open the doors of my heart to this realization until now.
Either way, I want it. I want those great things so bad. And if admitting it is the first step, I am very excited to take the next!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
25 by 25
25 things I would like to do by the ripe age of 25.. (God willing and not necessarily in this order).
1. Graduate!
2. Spend 6 months or longer on a missions trip in Africa.
3. Get married to the love of my life :).
4. Start the adoption process for a precious little black blessing from God.
5. Adopt a German Sheppard and name him Mogley. Mogey bear for short.
6. Become a dancer extraordinaire.
7. Spend a summer living on a boat.
8. Buy a car and name it Madre. Like Tomater but without the 'te'.
9. Learn to speak espagnol.
10. Enjoy school even though it feels like the bane of existence.
11. Grow my own garden with peas and carrots and sunflowers.
12. Get involved in a church after school doing small groups.
13. Obtain a job that I really enjoy and that makes me feel like I am contributing to people who are worse off than I am.
14. Delete my facebook account.
15. Learn how to alter clothing to create new looks.
16. Go to Venice, Italy and ride in one of those boats with a boatman who sings 'That's Amore!' with the love of my life.
17. Use all organic product for at least a year consecutively.
18. Stand on a surf board.
19. Backpack around South America.
20. Go to Greece.
21. See Hillsong in concert.
22. Foster kittens for the SPCA or Animal Pound.
23. Make a book list and read everything on it.
24. Either come out of University with no debt or pay it off the summer after graduating.
25. Rent a beach cabin on the Ocean in a warm country for a while and live the life of a beach bum.
Ahhh so refreshing.
1. Graduate!
2. Spend 6 months or longer on a missions trip in Africa.
3. Get married to the love of my life :).
4. Start the adoption process for a precious little black blessing from God.
5. Adopt a German Sheppard and name him Mogley. Mogey bear for short.
6. Become a dancer extraordinaire.
7. Spend a summer living on a boat.
8. Buy a car and name it Madre. Like Tomater but without the 'te'.
9. Learn to speak espagnol.
10. Enjoy school even though it feels like the bane of existence.
11. Grow my own garden with peas and carrots and sunflowers.
12. Get involved in a church after school doing small groups.
13. Obtain a job that I really enjoy and that makes me feel like I am contributing to people who are worse off than I am.
14. Delete my facebook account.
15. Learn how to alter clothing to create new looks.
16. Go to Venice, Italy and ride in one of those boats with a boatman who sings 'That's Amore!' with the love of my life.
17. Use all organic product for at least a year consecutively.
18. Stand on a surf board.
19. Backpack around South America.
20. Go to Greece.
21. See Hillsong in concert.
22. Foster kittens for the SPCA or Animal Pound.
23. Make a book list and read everything on it.
24. Either come out of University with no debt or pay it off the summer after graduating.
25. Rent a beach cabin on the Ocean in a warm country for a while and live the life of a beach bum.
Ahhh so refreshing.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A small lesson
A little lesson I've learned lately and recently put into words.
Do not resent the imperfect in others, rather rejoice in it. For it is through this imperfection that God allows you to see how truly great He is.
-Ak.
Do not resent the imperfect in others, rather rejoice in it. For it is through this imperfection that God allows you to see how truly great He is.
-Ak.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I love you.
Love. love. love. love. love. love.
love. love. love. love. love.
love. love. love. love.
love. love. love.
love. love.
love.
me?
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