Wanted: A snuggle buddy

General job duties:

• this employee will take over the position of the recently deceased; Mr. Teddy
• during work hours, this employee will provide comfort, warmth, and cute phrases to the benefit of the employer (me)
• overtime is required and the employee chosen will constantly be on-call
• must provide good movies, fun and serious conversation and a plethora of original romantic/cute lines

Requirements:

• must be of the male variety
• experience is not necessary, although a general knowledge in the physics of spooning would be preferable
• a sense of humour is required for duties related to snuggling-on-the-couch-during-movies
• subjects with skills in the areas of sweet-talking, hand kissing, and general cuteness will be preferable
• a love of my friends is required and subjects being considered must not become overly attached to the point of clinginess

Please note:

• subjects with excess hair, body odour, or strange noise-making habits will not make it past the screening process
• subjects with tendencies to smoke, fart, belch, say rude things, and comment on the attractiveness of other girls will not make it to the screening process