My feelings, or lack-thereof

I've realized this past couple of months or so that I'm a bottler-upper. I have a hard time telling people the emotions that I am experiencing or even how I feel about things that are going on in my life. Sure, I can relay straight up facts and tell a good story about them, but I have a hard time including any emotions other than frustration into my stories.

So at an attempt to work on this issue I've uncovered about myself and to hopefully sleep better at night, I am going to list 5 facts that are bothering me right now and 5 emotions to go with them.

1.) I'm irritated and slightly sad that the only reason the guy across the hall from me was paying special attention to me during a movie the other night was because he's trying to 'get in every hot girl's pants' on my floor. I guess you could say that I feel slightly let down. I had hopes that he was just trying to be friendly with no ulterior motives. I guess not.

2.) I'm excited but nervous about going home. I'm afraid that when I get there all of my old friends will have moved on, grown up, and changed so much that I won't even be able to relate to them anymore. I'm scared that I won't have anything in common with them and that my holiday will suck. But at the same time, I'm so excited to go home and see my family. I'm so excited to be able to see my mom and dad face to face. I can't wait to spend time with them.

3.) I'm lonely. I feel like there are people all around me, but none at the same time. I miss actually talking to people about things that matter. I've talked to so many people lately. But I feel like I haven't really talked to anyone in forever. Maybe it's just me.

4.) I'm sad. I'm sad that a lot of my friends are out partying tonight and that at 2 am I am guaranteed at least one drunk text or phone call. It makes me sad that this is the way they choose to have fun. And it makes me sad that they don't even remember it the next morning.

Alright, although I said I would make a list of 5...I can't. I can't think of any other emotions that I am willing to write down on a public blog. But at least 4 is a step in the right direction.